So how do I stop the psychology intruding into my parenting? Does it matter if it does? Two examples-when my child was a baby I was driven half crazy with sleep deprivation- not that he was a tricky baby, he just woke up for feeds and went back to sleep, but I don't do well on reduced sleep. So I realised in my daze (and it really was a daze, once I couldn't even think of the word 'box') that I could use my professional knowledge to sort this out. I did use a fab book to help me written by a couple of health visitors which fitted the research rather than being supernanny-driven. Now the name totally escapes me and I lent it to another friend.Self soothing and understanding your child's sleep cycles were the key as well as enlisting the support of my also weary husband. Within three nights we were all sleeping through and I mean ALL night! So that was a success and sleeping has never been a major issue since then.
Another one: where it didn't work so well was potty training. All was fine but my toddler did not like to use to loo for poos. At all. Trying to put into practice all my skills, we tried: reward charts, imagination, distraction, reading books about it. Didn't work. My wise friend (also a psychologist) said to me just leave him be and it will come in good time. So when he went off to nursery aged 3 and a bit I was dreading it. Within a week he was using the loo. Why? They had mini-loos there, he saw the others using them and we took the pressure off completely. So the bit of psychology i should have been applying was there all along- the developmental bit which says all kids are different, they usually get there in their own good time, plus a bit of peer 'pressure' (hardly!) and less anxiety all round.
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